Time to Settle Accounts
March 2, 2011: Appreciating the standards.
The conversation at headquarters turned to horror and action films of the 70s and 80s, with Young General wandering around the room imitating Bill Paxton and the commando forces of Aliens. “Game over man! Game over! What are we gonna do?” he said, laughing. There were two guests over enjoying the show, along with Ricky and myself.
“The good thing about the alien,” I said, “was that it was all over so fast. One little snap of that tongue and you were history.”
“Dog, what are you talking about?” General asked incredulously. “That thing strapped you to the wall and took its time.”
“In Aliens maybe, but not in the first one.”
“No dog, the first one. Remember the ship was about to explode, and Sigourney went down the shaft,” – he imitates Ripley climbing down the ladder – “and she’s holding that fire gun, and then she sees the crew all pinned up.”
I stare at him blankly.
“You don’t remember that?”
I look at Ricky. “Do you?”
“Yeah man. At the end, remember?”
“I think you guys are thinking about Aliens,” I say. “Or maybe a director’s cut.”
General is stunned. “Dog, the first one. It can’t be a director’s cut. That scene has to be there because it explains what was happening to everyone getting snatched up.” He proceeds to imitate Ripley looking around the room and seeing her fellow crew members disemboweled and pinned to the wall, “and remember – dude is up there going, ‘Killllll meeeeee.’ Are you serious?”
“You mean in the ship at the end, when she’s with the cat and the alien shows up and – ”
“Dog, NO. Before that.” He stares at me. “Am I going crazy?”
“No, it’s in there,” Ricky states.
General continues to stalk around the room, imitating Alien and Aliens, and then entertaining the guests with an extended riff on Predator. I write something on a sheet of paper and casually slide it to Ricky, who reads it and laughs.
“What’s going on over there?” General asks. I hand him the paper, and he reads it. “Dog, you’ve NEVER seen Predator?” He continues reading. “And you’ve never seen the second half of Scarface?” I have broken the code. “How the hell do you listen to hip-hop? Half of it is Scarface references! You should have told us this a while ago Jack. We have work to do.”
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