Time to Settle Accounts
January 2, 2012: Keep it to yourself.
I’d slept on the couch after the party ended, and when I awoke my phone said “12:30.” What time are the Bears on? I thought. And, crucially, what channel? I grabbed my phone and flipped to ESPN. The Bears were playing Minnesota at noon on FOX. Perfect! I thought. The digital antenna I bought in October strictly for this purpose turned out to be something of a bust – no CBS or ESPN, so I could only watch games on FOX.
I got up, turned on the TV, hit mute, flipped it to “antenna,” flipped it to FOX, and walked to the bathroom. When I returned the Bears were down 10-0 and driving. A play broke down and Josh McCown spun away from defenders and took off down the left sideline, gaining 28 yards on the run. God damnit, I thought. He did that against Green Bay too. He would have been worth two wins more than Hanie and we’d be in the playoffs. Son of a bitch…
The quarter ended, and when the second quarter began Khalil Bell took a handoff and scampered five yards, and on the next play, McCown hit Roy Williams in the middle of the endzone for a 22-yard touchdown. Sure, now he catches one, I thought.
Ooh, where’s my computer? Over on my desk. Do I want to tweet that? I guess I could do it with my phone. No, if I’m going to live tweet I should use my computer. I can bang ‘em out, it’s easier to type, it’s easier to watch, it’s easier to watch the game…
I stayed seated. I checked my phone for texts but not for tweets, and as the game progressed thoughts flashed through my head as they do. Yes! Peanut! Love it!… Jared Allen is a beeeeeeeaaaaaaast… holy cow: Izzy flattened him!… that Joe Webb is squirrelly. Vikes shoulda been playing him for a minute… Jesus! Allen again! Somebody block that man!… I think we’re gonna block this ki – YES! PEPPERRRRRRRSSSSSSS!!… and of course we go 3 and out… Look at that: an Aromashadu sighting…
I was still at it in the second half.
NEXT: The first carrot. (1.3.12)
PREVIOUS: Life of a party. (1.1.12)
On this date, 2011: A car in every garage, a trophy on every mantle.